As I down the last of my drink, I look into the eyes of the most precious child. She doesn’t deserve what she has to go through now. The person she loves and looks up to more than anything no longer resides in her home.

She questions everyday what time he’s coming home from work and I have no idea how to tell her that right now he’s not coming home, but one day she’ll be visiting him at his new house.

Her little mind won’t be able to fully understand how she went from a two parent home to one. She won’t get that the love and togetherness she was surrounded in is now split down the middle until a mutual co-existent bond can be formed in favor of her.

One day when she’s old enough the questions will come. She’ll wonder where the happiness went so quickly and why it didn’t work. I’ll have to smile in her face and feed her some excuse about how we both love each other but things just didn’t work out. I won’t have the heart to tell her that unfortunately the sins of the parents are too strong to overcome.

I don’t do drugs,

At least not in the way people think.

The high I look for is on a deeper level

The type of high that seeps into the crevasses of my cranium,

Shoots through my veins invading my system,

And leaves me floating in an intergalactic space continuum.

This is a high I don’t ever want to come down from.

They can call me an addict or any other name,

But I’ll continue to push you through my veins.

Everyone has their weaknesses and you just so happen to be mine.

I’ll go against the world to feel the high of your love just one more time.

Some have alcohol others have their own vices, but you…you’re my drug of choice.

Sometimes it’s difficult to determine what you want to do with you life. There’s endless options, but seems as if it’s not enough time. We feel rushed to jump into a career field that’s supposed to make us happy because of the amount of money being made. In the words of Bob Marley, “Money can’t buy life.” What good is a job if you can’t be happy doing it? How can you provide the best service possible if you don’t want to be there?

I’ve tried many career fields over time and many hobbies that I turned out to be quite good at. Hit me with a medical question and I’ll answer it with no problem, T-shirt making with silk screens was a breeze, and the list goes on. Although I was good at it, I didn’t have a passion for it. I’ve always wanted to walk to the beat of my own drum at my own pace. Ownership is the key in the end.

That led me to something I enjoyed and didn’t know it. I’m a book nerd who has discovered a love for writing. Some days I can write and never get tired, but then there’s days where I don’t want to think about writing a thing. That’s part of the beauty of independence. I don’t answer to anyone and don’t feel forced to push out anything.

I released my first book last year which was a fantasy called Lemuria: The Return Home by K. Nicole. Now although it didn’t do as well as I’d like, it gave me that experience and a idea of how to move forward. I’m sitting on a few rough drafts that’s waiting to be polished up and enhancing my writing skills through my blog. They’ll release when it’s meant for the world to see them. If my time is up before then, I know those that support me will unveil them for me.

I’m in a good place right now. I could’ve easily signed with a publisher already and feel as if I’m pumping out books on an assembly line, but where is the fun in that? I don’t saw that to down anyone with a publisher because some people actually enjoy pushing out books that quickly and I even thought about it for myself at one point, but it’s just not for me. I will take my time and grind in a way that sits well in my spirit.

So I say this to say, no matter how long it take you, you will find your groove. Don’t be in such a rush to pick a career or hobby just because society deems that you should be in a certain place in life because of your age. You’ll know what’s meant for you when you actually enjoy what you’re doing and it doesn’t feel like mandatory work. Just look at me up at 5 a.m. getting my thoughts out without feeling forced. I found my groove and now perfecting it. Make sure you find yours and live life!

The universe promised that if I was patient it would deliver 

A love that was meant to make my soul shiver

So patient I was as I continued to work on myself

In the midst of my grounding, a tantalizing vision of smooth chocolate skin is what I saw out in the horizon as the sun began to set

Frozen in place I was unsure of what would happen next

You came closer to me and I swore it was a dream

Then your voice teased my ear with a soulful melody

You asked me if I believed in love at first sight

And as I stare into your brown irises with flecks of gold,

I just might….

I remember the time I thought I lost you

I woke up early for some reason and couldn’t feel you

My world was so off balance I needed you to steady it

I journeyed up to the stars for you,

But got caught up trying to wish on a shooting star as the rest danced around Mother Moon as she waited to welcome Father Sun

I traveled to the still waters and watched,

As Yemoja washed ashore all of her offerings, but you were not one.

I hoped to see you on a streak of lightning,

That Shango rode into battle with thunder booming all around him

Then I chased the storm,

As Oya tore through the city in a rage.

I wonder if anyone saw me over there shouting your name,

As she whipped down the street laughing at her destruction.

I wonder if they saw me duck,

When everything on the street followed behind her not caring where it landed.

As the wind pushed me over and I awaited the embrace of the ground.

It was at this moment of her destruction that I found myself in your arms,

Your warm arms were the ground replacement.

Your beating heart was the warriors cry of protection.

You had been with me all along

Your presence stronger when I needed you most

You were the shooting the star that was too fast to wish on.

You were the force behind the water Yemoja used to give her offerings

You were the thunder that announced the lightning for Shango

And as Oya barreled through unapologetically,

You are my shelter from the storm set to destroy all.

Now I am your comfort after a hard day’s work that will continue again tomorrow.