As I sit in my bed and anxiety flows through my body

I think back on how life was all so simple just months ago

Before the days of never ending positive cases and no longer able to see everyone faces

Things we took for granted when we had our noses buried in our phones not bothering to look up

Carelessly walking through stores obviously to the many dangerous germs that now have us in fear of coming in contact with and scrambling for hand sanitizer every five seconds

An unwelcoming wake up call to the dangers we previously were susceptible to is now nothing compared to what we all are fighting now

A fight that has become so heartbreaking and tiresome as we watch many fight in this battle

Some surviving but still experiencing long lasting symptoms and others we have to say goodbye to.

Those goodbyes that hurt more than anything because we’d all give up valuable possessions just to say I love you again or

Just to have another moment.

Sadly it’ll never come and we experience this over and over again until our minds are left with feelings of pure hopeless.

Repeating the phrase over and over again like our favorite mantra…..

FUCK COVID!!!

Photo captured after my morning meditation

While everyone is sitting at home going stir crazy because of Covid-19 shutting everything down, I’m happily in my home reading books, watching documentaries, and meditating while my children fill my home with the rowdiness that would normally be seen in the outside world. I have my balance. As an introvert, Here is where I feel less drained from being around a lot of people and less of a chance of having that awkward moment where a random person wants to have a conversation about something I know nothing about, but feel inclined to talk because I was raised with too much respect to come off as disrespectful to anyone.

Quarantine life is not so bad to me. I do it with ease because it pretty much my everyday life. Now there are moments where I’d like to go do the little things that I used to like go to Hobby Lobby, go to the movies, or even a random date night with my husband, but even that moment is fleeting. I always wonder if a time will come where I experience a shift that makes me want to be around groups of people and embrace random conversations, but even as I write this I cringe and hope it never happens.