I was told that if I traveled far enough I would find the stairway to heaven

Could you imagine a place like that existing

I mean really imagine…

To journey to the top of the stairs and get lost in the clouds

Call out your loved ones names and see their face spreading the white fluffiness the looks like cotton

Reach out your hand and place it gently on their cheek

Watch the smile spread across their face and fill you with the warmth of their presence

Catch them up on all that they missed and wishes of their return to the land of the living

And then all too soon say goodbye for the second time because although the stairway leads to heaven, heaven is not ready for you yet

Have you ever been paralyzed with so much pain that you thought you were dying?

Your heart constricts and blood flow decreases until you are no longer breathing

That’s how I felt when you left

Life was no longer worth living

No longer would I see the depth of the world in your eyes

No longer would my anxiety be at ease from seeing that dimple in your smile

My security blanket, also known as your arms wrapped around me was no longer available

And now I must learn to navigate this thing called life the same way I made my entrance into the world…..alone.