Appreciate me now

Your tears will not be welcomed when I’m gone

They will only water my grave with your regrets

And memories you’d soon forget

Just like the times when I gave you my all

Only to find that was never enough

Because to you that was nothing

A single no overshadowing a lifetime of yeses

Pulling me in every direction

Leading me to the place I was destined

The place that we must all go one day

But for me it came early

Like the sun coming over the horizon

Casting a glow on the morning dew

That settles on the grass of my resting place

Where you now stand with your tears falling

And sobs of sorrow

Carried away on the cool breeze that brushes against

Bringing with it the gentle whisper of my last reply:

Have you finally learned to

APPRECIATE ME NOW

As I sit back and watch,

A calming truth settles upon me.

Causing the corners of my mouth to tilt ever so slightly towards the sky.

We are not the same.

You with your designer bags and life filled materialistic things.

Constantly strolling through social media trying to keep up with the Kardashians.

Are you happy?

Do you feel some sense of accomplishment as you walk down the street with your nose turned up at those who you feel are beneath you?

My sista, I feel sorry for you.

Most importantly I feel sorry for me.

In the midst of this, I am a Lauryn Hill living in a City Girl world.

And as I sit on this park bench, with my book on Assata Shakur in my hand, and my black obsidian necklace secured around my neck;

I take in all there is to you as you walk by and feel content with saying,

We are not the same, but when you awaken

I’ll be here to welcome you.

Artist Unknown

Embedded in the roots

These trees bare strange fruit

Flowing through generational veins

The poison of the past still remains

Stretching through each limb

Passing through the leaves

And floating in the breeze

Carrying along with it pure toxicity

A curse surviving off the fear of many

Those that are genuinely ashamed

Fingers pointing

Rumors whispered

Only the truth remains

A truth that must no longer leave these withered leaves stained

Breaking a cycle and bringing forth what’s really needed,

Change……

Photo Inspiration: Misty Copeland

In the shadows I stand,

While watching her perform the perfect pirouette before gracefully taking a bow.

My black swan rises regally like the Queen she is.

Receiving the standing ovation she rightfully earned after breaking down barrier after barrier so that those that look like her will have hope for their future.

My heart is filled with pride as the spotlight highlights her features and she responds with a coy smile like the professional that she is.

A coy smile that I see through from many nights of watching her from this spot.

I see what no one else sees.

The little melanin girl that is now the face of the ballet world.

Most importantly, the woman who holds the only place in my heart filled with love.

She exits the stage as the curtains close.

My hand reaches out to her; She readily accepts as I take her in my arms and whisper in her ear,

“I love you. Let’s go home my little ballerina.”

They say you never miss something until it’s gone.

In our case you’ve e been gone a long time.

Too long for me to continue to miss.

Physically you are here, but mentally you’re two blocks over.

Happily engaged with a one night stand that became a newfound fixture in your life.

A simplicity you decided could no longer be found at the home we built.

The home whose foundation wasn’t as solid as you promised.

So now the home is shifted, stairs tattered, and paint chipped from the years of being unhappy and neglected.

Years of thoughtless coming and going for the sake of a marriage that just wasn’t it anymore.

Until you finally come home to the eerie silence and cold stove.

Finally taking notice of the batter house that you used to call a home.

A house that is now empty as you call out my name only to be met once again with silence.

A silence that wouldn’t have greeted you if you had only made it home 5 minutes sooner to see me walking out the door with my suitcase in hand.

The tears running down my face as I mourned the death of the old me that loved you.

The man I thought I’d spend forever with.

The man that now sits at the dinner table thinking about all he will now miss.

All that he can’t get from two blocks over.

The unconditional love that he had, but now it’s gone.

Artist Unknown

Sitting in this bathtub

Immersed in bubbles

Surrounded by the scent of jasmine

Thoughts of you flitter across my mind

Reminding me of the last time I was in your presence

Standing close, but still separated by frost covered glass

Wishing things were like they used to be

Nestled in each other arms

In our cozy little apartment

But those days are long ago

Thanks to you choosing to answer the call of fast money and dangerous living

While I walk the path of a creative determined to make it

Two worlds that may never collide

But if you asked me to I would’ve tried

To make it happen so this loneliness wouldn’t have settled in my heart

Causing long days and even longer nights

Wondering if we would ever be together again

If you would ever choose me over your new life

Thoughts that can only be answered by you

If only my nerves would settle enough for me to pick up the phone

Then you’d hear my desperate pleas for you to come home

Suddenly fear gives way to courage as I dial your number

Hope fills my chest before panic at the sound of your voice

Shallow breathing and coughing is what I hear in between you forcing out my name

Apologies mixed with confessions of love grace my ears as tears roll down my face

I whisper them back in hopes of this all being a misunderstanding, but if not you’d still know that as you take your last breath

I’ll love you until the end of time

Artist Unknown

The other day someone asked me how I knew you were the one

The question instantly stomped me

And I become flooded with memories of when we first begun

The moment I looked in those deep brown eyes and told you my name

The second I laughed when you told me I was your wife

All the fights and arguments between us as our younger selves met our older selves

Every birth of our children that caused me to fall in love all over again

And now I have my answer

I didn’t know you were the one when I first met you

There was no fairytale love at first sight

My heart didn’t skip a beat the moment I met you,

But when you held my hand and walked through this thing called life destined to become man and wife

Continuing to fall in love with one another’s higher self

No longer able to see life with anyone else

I knew then you were the one

Artist Unknown

Tears cascaded down my face

As I found myself further in this sunken place

Lost in the thoughts

Of a love long left behind

I hear your voice riddled with sadness

But still I could no longer stay in this madness

The heart wants what the heart wants

Unfortunately what my heart wants is not what my soul needs

Healing

Healing from the toxicity of the burning flame

inside the both of us

The flame that made the pain we created easily soothed from the passion that followed

The passion that slowly faded with the rising of the morning sun and we’ve left to ask each other

What have we become?

When did we become this couple that no longer basks in the love but look forward to the making up to numb the pain from the endless injection of love and hate?

Where do we go from here?

You afraid to answer the questions which leaves me forced to make the decision for both of us.

Silently packing my bags and creeping off into the darkness at the midnight hour.

Hoping one day you’ll forgive my cowardly exit, but thank me for release both of us from the torturous merry go round.

The merry go round that replays visions in my head of what could have been if only I had stayed,

But instead I have only wishful thinking and stained tears.

Artist Unknown

I thought we had a connection

A connection that no one understood

A connection only you and I could comprehend

Because we were the intended

On an alternate plane

Tattooed with a mixture

Of guns and roses

We created a love

Swirling in a pool of melanated bliss

You completed me

I completed you

Together we were one

Heartstrings laced together

Soul ties that became soul lies

Lies that flowed from your lips

Like the loose lips that sink ships

Ships that contain our love from that alternate plane

Now down at the bottom of the abyss

Never to be found and easy to miss

If only someone would tell my heart

The truth

My heart that finds it hard to get over you

Days and night filled with thoughts of what had been

Until I’m overcome with passionate rage

Turning my world like that ship that dwells in the dark murky waters of the ocean

Never to see the light of day again

I thought we had something real

I thought we had something only you and

I could comprehend

I thought we had a connection

I thought

Happy Juneteenth! Please enjoy this short story I created in honor it.

June 19, 1865

The people lingered on the plantation unsure of what the day would bring. Many fidgeted with uneasiness and others were planning on the best way to escape should the day bring about terror as done before. They had been told early that morning that there would be an announcement come noon.

Neva, a young slave girl, stood holding her daughter close to her body. Her skin was the color of dark chocolate, her body was short and petite, she had a long braid going down the center of her back, and dark eyes filled with strength. She prayed that this would not be the last day she would see her daughter. Each day they had together was a blessing from the universe. Many of her children were sold long ago. If the day should be their last, she had prepared her well to survive, but that would not ease the hurt.

“What’s happening, Mama,” her daughter Betty asked, looking just like a mini version of her. 

Just then, a man rode up on a horse bringing many others with him. The slave master stood on the porch with his wife, both faces were twisted in anger. 

“Shhhh baby, let’s hear what’s going on,” Neva ordered. 

The man got off his horse and looked at all of the people. It was a shame that even after being free for over two years, these were the last to find out. It was terrible how that information was withheld from them. Some say the messenger was killed and others say it was done deliberately to get another crop of cotton. Either way it was just plain wrong. 

“I come with news from General Granger,” he spoke loud enough for them to hear. 

Murmurs could be heard throughout the crowd. What could he possibly have for them to hear?

“As per General Order 3, The people of Texas are informed that in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired laborer.” He began to read off the paper.

Gasps could be heard throughout the crowd. Many cried, many shouted, and many stood in disbelief. Their dreams and prayers had finally been answered. 

“What’s going on mama,” Betty asked her mother. 

“We’re free baby,” she lifted her up as much as she could with tears falling down her face.

People started rushing off to get their belongings. Many unsure of where they would go next, but knew the plantation life was not for them. 

“Where are you going,” the slave master yelled, “There’s nothing out there for you people!” 

“That may be, but there’s nothing here for us either,” a man named William yelled before walking off with the others. He was a large muscular man with skin the color of molasses. 

As Neva and Betty gathered their belongings, they heard music playing. Stopping to look outside of their shack they saw people gathering around in celebration. Food was being brought out of houses and combined to make a big spread for everyone. 

“Can we join them mama,” Betty looked up with hopeful eyes. 

“Of course, they’ll always be our family,” Neva smiled down with tears still in her eyes. 

They both ran out and joined in the laughter and dancing. 

Soon Neva felt strong arms around her. Turning she saw William with that smile she had come to love. They had been quietly seeing each other for quite some time now and shared many meals together as a family. 

“We’re free now baby, you know what that means,” he asked. 

With her words lost, she merely shook her head. 

“Today we finally get married and then me, you, and my new daughter is headed north to start our new lives.”

And get married they did, surrounded by all of their newly freed brothers and sisters. 

When it was time to leave, William stood embracing Neva and Betty. 

“We’re finally free,” she whispered. 

“So we don’t have to live here anymore,” Betty asked fearfully. 

“No baby, we’re free,”William lifted her up and tickled her, “but there’s still a lot of work to be done.”

With one last look, they then joined the others walking up the road to a new freeish way of living.

Note:

This short contains the exact beginning of General Order 3 that was instructed to be read announcing the end of slavery in Texas. Also, the names listed in this short, Neva, Betty, and William are all relatives of mine. My grandparents and mother. Although they were not actually there I thought it would be cool to incorporate their names in the story. Let me know in the comments what you think and if it interests you enough to want to see more shorts like this on here. Thank you for reading!